Keirin armour

I had the pleasure of perusing Mr Staff's wounds the other Saturday after his spectacular Aussie inspired crash in the WC keirin. Mr Staff is as hard as they come but all the same wished he had been wearing some of Mr Mclean's armour - seen on the BC web-site recently.
So, off I trotted and had a little chattette with Sir Craig [that's the sort of star-tart I am] to hear all about the stuff.
Ever since I have been wondering about this and think I have come up with a cheaper alternative. Custard! Yes, the yellow peril is Thixotropic just like the Great Fast Man's armour. Mix up a pile of Birds Eye [4/3d from your local co-op] with a little water, jump right in to ensure a full coveration, pull on your skin suit and hey presto, no Perkins chappie on a suicide mission is ever going to worry you again. And think of the sponsorship opportunities. :-)