Schools

With the bitsofbikes thing out of the way, the ritual parading of jersey-booty on the Taster sessions, the old place takes on an air of resignation at the thought of the next thing on the menu. The Bolton Schools Tournament.
For a start, it takes place on my usual day off. Can't complain too loudly about that since I booked it in. It's a frantic affair and I shall set the scene for you to visualise;
10am the coaches start to come in looking for a cup of tea, nervously glancing around in anticipation of the onslought to come.
10.30, the schools sport coordinator arrives arms weighed down with another 3,400 certificates for me to sign despite the fact I have already signed 6m.
10.59 and the first school arrives - the event should start at 11am. Bikes are got out, helmets fastened and Brian warms up with his first story of the morning. I start what is to be 4 hours of contant talking as I strive to keep;
the event running on time [no chance ]
teachers under control [little chance]
Brian from telling his entire repetoire [impossible]
and the yoof from wreaking havoc [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Only, the PA is at the wrong volume, the mic batteries run out, the schools arrive in dribs and drabs and they all changed their teams. One kids throws up after eating three bags of crisps then gets on to race a one-lap sprint. The cleaners get stroppy. The duty managers hide and eventually it all comes to a close and the cup is presented. After which I return to a darkened room to recover - eventually.